Mother's Day

This Mother’s day feels so different from other Mother’s days that I have experienced throughout my life. It is a day for celebrating and not because of anything I have done but because of what has been done for me and for what I get to do for my daughters.
We are relishing in the new addition to our family. We love her sweet spirit and high pitched giggle. I love the way her hair curls and how her eyes squint when she is really happy. Her big sis is full of life and energy. She loves on her little sis every opportunity that she gets. She is such a bright light in our lives. Both of my girls are blessings from God and I feel lucky to be their mom.

This Mother’s day I am reflecting on how I came to be here at this moment, a mother of two beautiful girls. It all started with my mother, a fearless woman who decided to take a risk and adopt a baby girl from India over thirty years ago. Her love, guidance and direction helped shape my life and who I am today.

I’m also reflecting back on my birth mother who had to make the decision to give me away. Did she struggle with her decision? Was she sad? Or was it a decision that was made for her, made out of social stigma, poverty or family persuasion. I have always hoped it was because she loved me so much that she wanted more for me than she could give. That she knew I would have the chance to be taken care of, provided for and loved very much. I wonder if she has ever thought of me over the years. Have I crossed her mind? Has she wondered about the fate of her daughter that she left in the nursing home hallway? Or, was I just a burden that was released from her when she left me? The answers I will never know. What I do know is that her choice to relinquish me was the best gift she could have given me.

The moment she walked out of my life she led me to a new beginning. As fate would have it I would be given a second chance at life. A very different life from what I was born into. A life filled with opportunity, security, love and hope. I have always wanted to in some way use this opportunity to make a difference. I know now that I can make a difference through my daughters. I can pass on the same gift and legacy that was given to me. They will both have the opportunity to be loved, supported, educated and provided for.

As a mother there is not a better reward than being able to care for your children. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to not be able to do this. Having just visited India and witnessing the poverty and fate of some, I realize that many do not have a choice. There is not a way to provide for a child when they don’t have the opportunity to provide for themselves. Maybe giving a child up for adoption is a selfless act and not a choice or decision that is struggled over. It is one that is necessary and made out of love.

This leads me to think about our daughter’s birthmother. What are her circumstances? What is she feeling and what does her life look like now over a year after her act of relinquishment. I hope she is not disconcerted with her choice but finds peace in the fact that her daughter is loved and cared for. I feel lucky and grateful to be a mother for this child. The love I have for her is pure and abundant.

I’m proud that a conversation and a hope have transpired into a reality. I am so thankful to have our daughter in our lives and that she will have the same opportunities and the second chance at life that I was given.

My feat is to live up to the amazing role model I had growing up in my mother. She was an incredible woman. Her smile lit up an entire room. Her vivacious spirit and strong will guided her life. I will be forever at a loss due to her passing. My heart has been heavy the last nine years but with the love from my daughters it has begun to heal and be full again.

This Mother’s day I am full of emotion. I am humbled and grateful that I had such a wonderful mother. I am thankful for the decisions and actions that have brought me to where I am today. I am blessed because I have two beautiful daughters that I love and cherish. I am hopeful for the future and the legacy of love that I can pass on to my daughters. My mother used to tell me how powerful a mother’s love is and now I understand firsthand the meaning and truth of her words.

Much love and blessings, may you hug the ones dear to you today, Brie