Monsoon Black Eyed Peas
7 years ago
Monday, May 23, 2011
Enjoying our daughters
We sure have been enjoying our daughters. It's so fun to see them togeher and to feel the love within our family. I am often hit with waves of emotion when I look at each of them. Both were made from miracles and the fact that I get to love them feels like such a reward. I think of all the things that had to line up perfectly for each of them to be here and I feel so overwhelmed with joy to be able to kiss their cheeks and wrap my arms around them.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day
This Mother’s day feels so different from other Mother’s days that I have experienced throughout my life. It is a day for celebrating and not because of anything I have done but because of what has been done for me and for what I get to do for my daughters.
We are relishing in the new addition to our family. We love her sweet spirit and high pitched giggle. I love the way her hair curls and how her eyes squint when she is really happy. Her big sis is full of life and energy. She loves on her little sis every opportunity that she gets. She is such a bright light in our lives. Both of my girls are blessings from God and I feel lucky to be their mom.
This Mother’s day I am reflecting on how I came to be here at this moment, a mother of two beautiful girls. It all started with my mother, a fearless woman who decided to take a risk and adopt a baby girl from India over thirty years ago. Her love, guidance and direction helped shape my life and who I am today.
I’m also reflecting back on my birth mother who had to make the decision to give me away. Did she struggle with her decision? Was she sad? Or was it a decision that was made for her, made out of social stigma, poverty or family persuasion. I have always hoped it was because she loved me so much that she wanted more for me than she could give. That she knew I would have the chance to be taken care of, provided for and loved very much. I wonder if she has ever thought of me over the years. Have I crossed her mind? Has she wondered about the fate of her daughter that she left in the nursing home hallway? Or, was I just a burden that was released from her when she left me? The answers I will never know. What I do know is that her choice to relinquish me was the best gift she could have given me.
The moment she walked out of my life she led me to a new beginning. As fate would have it I would be given a second chance at life. A very different life from what I was born into. A life filled with opportunity, security, love and hope. I have always wanted to in some way use this opportunity to make a difference. I know now that I can make a difference through my daughters. I can pass on the same gift and legacy that was given to me. They will both have the opportunity to be loved, supported, educated and provided for.
As a mother there is not a better reward than being able to care for your children. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to not be able to do this. Having just visited India and witnessing the poverty and fate of some, I realize that many do not have a choice. There is not a way to provide for a child when they don’t have the opportunity to provide for themselves. Maybe giving a child up for adoption is a selfless act and not a choice or decision that is struggled over. It is one that is necessary and made out of love.
This leads me to think about our daughter’s birthmother. What are her circumstances? What is she feeling and what does her life look like now over a year after her act of relinquishment. I hope she is not disconcerted with her choice but finds peace in the fact that her daughter is loved and cared for. I feel lucky and grateful to be a mother for this child. The love I have for her is pure and abundant.
I’m proud that a conversation and a hope have transpired into a reality. I am so thankful to have our daughter in our lives and that she will have the same opportunities and the second chance at life that I was given.
My feat is to live up to the amazing role model I had growing up in my mother. She was an incredible woman. Her smile lit up an entire room. Her vivacious spirit and strong will guided her life. I will be forever at a loss due to her passing. My heart has been heavy the last nine years but with the love from my daughters it has begun to heal and be full again.
This Mother’s day I am full of emotion. I am humbled and grateful that I had such a wonderful mother. I am thankful for the decisions and actions that have brought me to where I am today. I am blessed because I have two beautiful daughters that I love and cherish. I am hopeful for the future and the legacy of love that I can pass on to my daughters. My mother used to tell me how powerful a mother’s love is and now I understand firsthand the meaning and truth of her words.
Much love and blessings, may you hug the ones dear to you today, Brie
We are relishing in the new addition to our family. We love her sweet spirit and high pitched giggle. I love the way her hair curls and how her eyes squint when she is really happy. Her big sis is full of life and energy. She loves on her little sis every opportunity that she gets. She is such a bright light in our lives. Both of my girls are blessings from God and I feel lucky to be their mom.
This Mother’s day I am reflecting on how I came to be here at this moment, a mother of two beautiful girls. It all started with my mother, a fearless woman who decided to take a risk and adopt a baby girl from India over thirty years ago. Her love, guidance and direction helped shape my life and who I am today.
I’m also reflecting back on my birth mother who had to make the decision to give me away. Did she struggle with her decision? Was she sad? Or was it a decision that was made for her, made out of social stigma, poverty or family persuasion. I have always hoped it was because she loved me so much that she wanted more for me than she could give. That she knew I would have the chance to be taken care of, provided for and loved very much. I wonder if she has ever thought of me over the years. Have I crossed her mind? Has she wondered about the fate of her daughter that she left in the nursing home hallway? Or, was I just a burden that was released from her when she left me? The answers I will never know. What I do know is that her choice to relinquish me was the best gift she could have given me.
The moment she walked out of my life she led me to a new beginning. As fate would have it I would be given a second chance at life. A very different life from what I was born into. A life filled with opportunity, security, love and hope. I have always wanted to in some way use this opportunity to make a difference. I know now that I can make a difference through my daughters. I can pass on the same gift and legacy that was given to me. They will both have the opportunity to be loved, supported, educated and provided for.
As a mother there is not a better reward than being able to care for your children. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to not be able to do this. Having just visited India and witnessing the poverty and fate of some, I realize that many do not have a choice. There is not a way to provide for a child when they don’t have the opportunity to provide for themselves. Maybe giving a child up for adoption is a selfless act and not a choice or decision that is struggled over. It is one that is necessary and made out of love.
This leads me to think about our daughter’s birthmother. What are her circumstances? What is she feeling and what does her life look like now over a year after her act of relinquishment. I hope she is not disconcerted with her choice but finds peace in the fact that her daughter is loved and cared for. I feel lucky and grateful to be a mother for this child. The love I have for her is pure and abundant.
I’m proud that a conversation and a hope have transpired into a reality. I am so thankful to have our daughter in our lives and that she will have the same opportunities and the second chance at life that I was given.
My feat is to live up to the amazing role model I had growing up in my mother. She was an incredible woman. Her smile lit up an entire room. Her vivacious spirit and strong will guided her life. I will be forever at a loss due to her passing. My heart has been heavy the last nine years but with the love from my daughters it has begun to heal and be full again.
This Mother’s day I am full of emotion. I am humbled and grateful that I had such a wonderful mother. I am thankful for the decisions and actions that have brought me to where I am today. I am blessed because I have two beautiful daughters that I love and cherish. I am hopeful for the future and the legacy of love that I can pass on to my daughters. My mother used to tell me how powerful a mother’s love is and now I understand firsthand the meaning and truth of her words.
Much love and blessings, may you hug the ones dear to you today, Brie
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Our trip home....
Our family feels so right! Our little girl is settling right in. She has no lack of attention or entertainment mostly thanks to her big sis! The day we arrived home Big sis kept saying," I can't believe it, I knew she would be this cute, I can't keep my eyes off of her" how sweet is that? She has taught her sister not to be afraid of the bath, attended her doctors appointment, asked to take her sister to school for show and tell and has taught her how to wave and say "hi". At night when I close my eyes I am so thankful and grateful for both of my girls! It's heartwarming to see them develop their relationship as sisters. One thing is for sure they fill my life full.
The day we first arrived home seems like ages ago! It has only been 2 1/2 weeks but it took about eight or nine days to recover from the jet lag and to feel human again. Traveling for over 48 hours straight is not such a pleasant experience especially when you add being sick on top of it. We left Delhi at 1145 pm and flew through the night about six hours to Hong Kong. Everyone slept except for myself. I was halfway terrified to move a muscle for the fear of waking our daughter but couldn't help it during the last part of the flight because I was having fever and chills. I remember feeling hot, cold, hot, cold, nauseated and exhausted. Then I would pleasantly remind myself that this flight was one of the shorter flights that we would endure.
When we arrived in Hong Kong I wanted to collapse. I was weak, dizzy, sweaty- my fever had finally broke and I was nauseated. I was so tired and my stomach was doing flips and cramping up. I could barely walk through the airport and push our luggage cart (Mike had to carry the baby because I physically couldn't). After what had seemed like we had walked for miles we checked in to our flight and then the most amazing miracle happened. I believe 100 percent that this was a true miracle. I had been having anxiety about the trip home for days because as it stood we were supposed to be the two middle seats in the row of four on our 12 hour flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco. Middle seat + 14 month old + 12 hour flight, need I say more. The flight was completely sold out, not a seat to be spared. Someone must have missed their connection because we were switched to an aisle seat, what a sigh of relief. What was even more amazing was that no one in the row of 4 claimed their seat- we had a whole row!!!! The power of prayer is amazing! The rest of the flight people were shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee, not an empty seat to be found! What a blessing it was to have an extra seat for our daughter. It was during this 12 hr flight that my husband realized that we were not returning on a Sunday but on a Saturday. We had told our family and friends Sunday was the day we were arriving. I was still feeling sick so all I wanted to do was to hit a bed and sleep.
Customs in San Francisco was easy and the man that welcomed our daughter to the US was very nice and helpful. Mike had been carrying this huge envelope that had to remain sealed until we arrived at immigration in the US. I was surprised by how efficient and quick this process took. I had gained a little bit of strength but I was still feeling like a zombie. We then learned that our connecting flight had been delayed. The one thing that kept me going was imagining myself hugging my daughter and introducing her to her sister. The last flight (the shortest of the three, only 90 min) seemed like it took an eternity. We were graciously welcomed at the airport by a huge crowd of family and friends. I had thought no one would be there because of my miscalculation but they all rallied and made it. I wished that I had at least put some lipstick on. The best feeling in the world was having my arms wrapped tightly around my daughter. She seemed like a giant to me, what in the world had our family been feeding her? Her bright smile and gleam in her eyes brought me to tears. Our wonderful family and friends were so loving and kind. They shared in our excitement and it was such a blessing to have them there.
The trip was truly a trip of a life time and even now, 2 1/2 weeks later, I feel as though some of it is still sinking in. The sights, sounds, faces and places are vivid images with poignant meaning as I reflect back on this incredible journey. I can't wait for the day that I can return to India. I can't wait to hear the horns honking, maneuver my steps down the crowded streets and take in more essence of the beauty of life that unfolds in this amazing country. I feel a sense of peace with having returned to India. I feel like I have completed the circle.
When I was younger I had always wanted to volunteer as an escort to help bring babies from India to the US and I had never imagined that I would be bringing back my own daughter. I laugh as I write this because knowing what I know now, who would want to volunteer to sit with an infant for sooo many hours on an airplane! I would do it again in a heartbeat because those hours are nothing compared to the lifetime of love that I will give and receive from our precious daughter!
The day we first arrived home seems like ages ago! It has only been 2 1/2 weeks but it took about eight or nine days to recover from the jet lag and to feel human again. Traveling for over 48 hours straight is not such a pleasant experience especially when you add being sick on top of it. We left Delhi at 1145 pm and flew through the night about six hours to Hong Kong. Everyone slept except for myself. I was halfway terrified to move a muscle for the fear of waking our daughter but couldn't help it during the last part of the flight because I was having fever and chills. I remember feeling hot, cold, hot, cold, nauseated and exhausted. Then I would pleasantly remind myself that this flight was one of the shorter flights that we would endure.
When we arrived in Hong Kong I wanted to collapse. I was weak, dizzy, sweaty- my fever had finally broke and I was nauseated. I was so tired and my stomach was doing flips and cramping up. I could barely walk through the airport and push our luggage cart (Mike had to carry the baby because I physically couldn't). After what had seemed like we had walked for miles we checked in to our flight and then the most amazing miracle happened. I believe 100 percent that this was a true miracle. I had been having anxiety about the trip home for days because as it stood we were supposed to be the two middle seats in the row of four on our 12 hour flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco. Middle seat + 14 month old + 12 hour flight, need I say more. The flight was completely sold out, not a seat to be spared. Someone must have missed their connection because we were switched to an aisle seat, what a sigh of relief. What was even more amazing was that no one in the row of 4 claimed their seat- we had a whole row!!!! The power of prayer is amazing! The rest of the flight people were shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee, not an empty seat to be found! What a blessing it was to have an extra seat for our daughter. It was during this 12 hr flight that my husband realized that we were not returning on a Sunday but on a Saturday. We had told our family and friends Sunday was the day we were arriving. I was still feeling sick so all I wanted to do was to hit a bed and sleep.
Customs in San Francisco was easy and the man that welcomed our daughter to the US was very nice and helpful. Mike had been carrying this huge envelope that had to remain sealed until we arrived at immigration in the US. I was surprised by how efficient and quick this process took. I had gained a little bit of strength but I was still feeling like a zombie. We then learned that our connecting flight had been delayed. The one thing that kept me going was imagining myself hugging my daughter and introducing her to her sister. The last flight (the shortest of the three, only 90 min) seemed like it took an eternity. We were graciously welcomed at the airport by a huge crowd of family and friends. I had thought no one would be there because of my miscalculation but they all rallied and made it. I wished that I had at least put some lipstick on. The best feeling in the world was having my arms wrapped tightly around my daughter. She seemed like a giant to me, what in the world had our family been feeding her? Her bright smile and gleam in her eyes brought me to tears. Our wonderful family and friends were so loving and kind. They shared in our excitement and it was such a blessing to have them there.
The trip was truly a trip of a life time and even now, 2 1/2 weeks later, I feel as though some of it is still sinking in. The sights, sounds, faces and places are vivid images with poignant meaning as I reflect back on this incredible journey. I can't wait for the day that I can return to India. I can't wait to hear the horns honking, maneuver my steps down the crowded streets and take in more essence of the beauty of life that unfolds in this amazing country. I feel a sense of peace with having returned to India. I feel like I have completed the circle.
When I was younger I had always wanted to volunteer as an escort to help bring babies from India to the US and I had never imagined that I would be bringing back my own daughter. I laugh as I write this because knowing what I know now, who would want to volunteer to sit with an infant for sooo many hours on an airplane! I would do it again in a heartbeat because those hours are nothing compared to the lifetime of love that I will give and receive from our precious daughter!
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